A STROLL AROUND SHAKESPEARE COUNTY

Today I made a trip to Stratford-upon-Avon.

I never like to go away for the whole of the Easter weekend. You are bound to get stuck in a traffic jam or at an airport scratching
your head frantically and generally tearing your hair out. It is why I had a small chuckle to myself when I heard of all the tailbacks on the Motorway on Friday.

I really don't know the exact reason for wanting to go to
Stratford. There was a time at the beginning of the year where I made a mental list of places in the U.K that I was interested in visiting. Therefore, my mother and I made a visit today.

I am pleased to report that I did not get sucked in by the Shakespeare phenomenon. Naturally as the great man was born in Stratford, the town sees it necessary to sell this fact to tourists and general members of the public by the barrell full. It does seem a little overbearing at times, when you walk around the town.

The tourist info centre generally advises you on four things to do- all involving Shakepeare. However, considering the sheer quantity of Shakespeare plays Mr Rudge and Oakely made me study during A Levels at Sixth Form College, I felt that I had enough knowledge of the man and his works already. Certainly there was nothing to be gained from paying £15, just to look around his house. This was opposite to what I felt when I visited Blenheim Palace three weeks ago. I felt there was much to be learned about both the Duke of Marlborough and about Churchill's life away from the spotlight.

I did manage to see where he William is buried. He has a chancel in Holy Trinity Church, a beautiful 13Th century Parish Church. Of course, we got charged a "voluntary contribution" to go and see where he was laid to rest. But as this amount to 50p, I didn't feel too hard done by. What was quite disappointing though, was that 30 minutes prior to arriving at Holy Trinity, a wedding was taking place. In fact I saw four wedding taking place today. Shame I have been a bystander at a baptism before- perhaps a wedding is next.

We did manage to have a delightful lunch at quite a cosy cafe. It was called the "Courtyard Cafe" and according to the adverts their food was "award winning". Maybe it is but it took a long time to arrive. Nearly an hour before I could tuck into a Baked Potato with Smoked Salmon, Cream Cheese and Salad. It was most amusing watching the staff "at work". It basically involved 1. Panicking. 2. Taking an order 3. Forgetting the order 4. Apologising for forgetting the order 5. Panicking 6. Before another apology. The manager must have got stuck on the M40!

All in all though it was a great day. I really did find Stratford a jolly nice place. With the sun shining brightly and the boats gliding willfully down the Avon, it was a relaxing mood. Plus I got to have my first ice cream of the season- now nothing can beat a '99 on a warm day.

Even better when I later heard that Aston Villa had remembered how to win a game, Bangladesh had thrashed the South Africans in the Cricket World Cup and that John Candy was on TV in the highly amusing film "Planes, Trains and Automobiles". There was no Shakespearean tradegy today for Mr O'Rourke. Quite the opposite in fact.

Perhaps Dad was right.....

I heard something interesting on my way to work yesterday. I was standing at a bus stop and over the other side of the road there was an old couple, who had come back from their weekly trip to the Post Office.

Now, this is not me guessing or even stereotyping about what activity they had just been participating in. No. The old chap could be heard when he was 30 yards away. There was no doubting that he was hard of hearing. I have always struggled to hear in the left ear, which is why I can be quite loud when I speak to an audience.

Anyhow, I digress.

The couple were discussing Prime Minister Blair. They said that he earned too much (actually his wife earns more than him) and didn't know that he was born. "He ain't that good is he", our senior gentleman retorted. Agreed. But that is not the main topic of this blog. It is that classic line all elderly people seem to use regularly and one which my Grandparents repeat again and again and again: "It never used to be like this in the olden days".

When my bus eventually came, I thought about this statement and thought what a ridiculous statement it was. In his 20's, my Grandfather had to deal with a war with Nazi Germany which meant him leaving his family and friends for months at a time. There were domestic side effects on his return to the U.K which included rationing and food stamps. There was no NHS until 1947 and no funding for it until the early 70's. The Soviet Union were always causing trouble and being a constant pain during the late 40's and early 50's, with their obsessions in creating a 'Soviet bloc'. There was no television, no washing machines, basic utilities were at a low and in general it was a tough old slog.

Then I suddenly thought about the society that I am living in at present. It may have many of the things materially that were lacking in the 40's and 50's, but there was something the olden days certainly had an abundance of and which we lack today- and that is respect and tolerance.

The lack of manners by men and women of all ages and backgrounds in this country today, fails to stun me. Gone are the traditional manners of yesteryear- saying please and thank you, helping mothers with buggies, opening doors, queuing patiently, giving way when driving, tipping after an agreeable meal (a term phrased so wonderfully by Al Pacino- extra points for knowing which film) and just being pleasant and polite to each other. And what is more is that it continues to get worse year by year.

What the 1940's and 1950's were about was comradeship- everyone was in it together and society was generally obedient and orderly. Blimey, even our politicians were trusted to run government.

Now, there is no trust in government. Chavs and Gang syndicates run havoc throughout our towns and cities. You stand up for laws of the land and you are castigated and made to feel as if you have committed a crime yourself. Family ties don't mean so much as they did even 10 years ago, let alone 50-60.

Maybe I exaggerate slightly. Yet do the old couple have it right? Were the olden days better? Obviously unless David Tennant can time port me back 60 years or so I won't be able to see for myself. But I am worried- because it could just be that I agree with my dad too (a man who could right a book on why the "olden days" were the "best uns". And this really is beginning worrying me. :)

A strange old week

Evening all. I have been awful in posting lately- have had job applications and interviews to sort out and a job to keep down.

Anyhow, it has been a strange old week.

Iran has decided to detain British sailors- and in doing so have broken countless International Treaties in doing so. Irrespective of the rights and wrongs of the Iraq War and Allied treatment of detainees, there cannot be any justification for this barbarous act.

The England football team actually managed to score a goal and win a game.. albeit against part-time handymen, postmen and bank clerks from the world's most dirtiest international team in the world, namely Andorra. Thoughts harked back in the mind of the media, to England's last "turnip" of a manager, Graham Taylor. If you ask me, Taylor would have done a better job if the media would have given him an ounce of support. I don't quite feel the same about McLaren though- he is far too unadventurous and dull as drying paintwork to utilise the undoubted talent in the squad.

The riddle surrounding Bob Woolmer's death also continues to intrigue. There can be little doubt that cricket has lost one of its finest servants in Bob. However, how the police authorities in Jamaica have yet to determine cause and motives of death is beyond me. Its at times like this that one needs that wirely old Detective, Jack Frost to be truth not fiction.

Of course, Sir Elton celebrated his 60th birthday in true Elton style: performing a 3 hr concert in Maddison Square Gardens to over 100,000 fans of the legend from Pinner.

And we have the start possibly of summer. As the band Texas tell us, we need to keep an "inner smie". Yet what I find incredibly amusing is despite the fact it is still freezing outside, the moment an ounce of sunshine peeps through the cloud, summerwear becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Let me explain more. I was on a train earlier today and there was a girl of about 20 who was dressed as she was watching cricket in Antigua today. Not sure how the cute little thing wasn't freezing to death. It was the same on Thursday, when the girlfriend decided in her infinate wisdom to wear a skirt when we went to the pub. Now, I wouldn't usually complain as she dpes look rather cute- but still its April not August.

Then there is the sunglasses. Sometimes I think that I am stuck in a timewarp and back with David Tennant in the 70s. Or at least thats it seems like when the sun is out. It seems that the big, fat, unstylish sunnies are back for now at least. I believe that Victoria Beckham brought back this craze. Yet everywhere I drive or walk now, all I see is very pretty young ladies, looking radiant in the midday sun- until you see the sunnies. Blimey we're not even in summer yet.

A strange old week really.

SOLVING THE MORSE CODE IN OXFORD

The weekend just past I spent in lovely Oxford.

I had a delightful couple of days in one of Britain's oldest and historic cities.

Of course, this is the City which houses England's oldest University. There was something about the University- possibly its architecture, is history, its inhabitants past and present, its academic excellence or perhaps something else, that adds flavour to the City.

It was a first for me. I have never so much as stepped a foot in Oxford over my 23 years and a bit of living. After stepping off my train, I felt a sense of the unexpected- something I always feel when visiting a new place. There is nothing like actually experiencing something yourself.

I obviously had a visual of what Oxford would be like. I expected it to be snobbish and slightly up itself. I mean this was King Charles I's Headquarters during the English Civil War- and he was an arrogant sod.

However, I found the old place delightful. I strolled around the streets on Saturday afternoon lazily and just enjoyed the fresh air and quietness of the City. They value their fresh air in Oxford which is why many people cycle/walk into and around of town.

Then of course, I remember that Morse strolled his way around Oxford. With his old sidekick Lewis in toe, they attempted to solve grisly crimes in deepest darkest Oxfordshire- in a pub called the Turl. This pub has had some famous clients- Bill Clinton smoked dope their apparantly during his student days. Former Australian PM Bob Hawke drank a yard of ale there in seconds flat. This is in the Guinness Book of Records. Then you had the parliamentarians attempting a coup from the same street the pub is on. And of course Morse....

Their fish and chips are delicious by the way....

So I found it all delightful. I drank i some pubs in the evening with my mate Juan before heading off to his house and bed.

All in all pretty delightful.

Tomorrow I may even digest into my visit to Churchill's birthplace and ceremonial home- Blenheim Palace. I'm sure you'll all be back for that.

M x

UNIVERSITY: ITS A BIT OF A BALL!

Written at 09:00 on Fri 2nd March

It has been an incredibly bright and cheerful couple of days.

An old friend from my days with my student newspaper 'Redbrick', is standing for the Guild Presidency at the moment and as such I offered to assist him in handing out leaflets yesterday afternoon.

I didn't help for long because most of the work had been done by the time I had go there at 4pm. In fact.... pretty much all of the electioneering had been done. Well... at least I offered. Therefore, I had a bit of time to kill before I returned home for my daily dose of 'Neighbours' (which has been very good recently: lovely the new chick Mr Steiger's daughter). So, I decided to take a serene stroll around my old stamping ground- University Square.

It was the first time I had stepped foot on the University grounds at Birmingham, since my graduation and my goodness it looked splendid in the sunshine- the Spring bulbs are beginning to surface, the birds were singing. I felt like nipping around the campus like Ernie Wise, umbrella in hand!

This wander got me thinking. I suddenly remembered what good fun it was to be a student. There were the same old problems regarding lack of money, debt, seminars, lectures etc etc when I was studying, but overall it was what you made it.

I happened to overhear some conversations during my wandering. It is a well known fact that Birmingham University students tend not to keep quiet for too long. The categories the conversations can fall into were simply:

1. Sex 2. Alcohol. 3. Skipping Seminars 4. Having a chill

err.... that was about it.

A lot of people argue that University Life is over-rated. I disagree. Even though I attended a fairly local University, I still spent my 2nd and 3rd years living with fellow students: who as it happened are now best friends as well as ex-house mates. It was an experience that will live with me for the rest of my life- the people I met, the new things I could try out, the things I learned about myself. Jeez.... I am missing those days already and I think many who read this article are missing "their time" too.

University makes an individual grow up, experience new challenges, acquire new skills and yes... have a laugh and a bit of fun.

Of course University is not for all. Many individuals may not want to go to University. Others are certainly not best suited to attend University- instead apply the skills and talent they have into other areas such as Nursing, Plumbing, Banking..... none of these industries require a degree.

Indeed, it seems foolish to force 50% of school leavers into University. It simply is not sensible politics to have an arbitrary level to which we HAVE to aspire.

However, it is also important that we do not give individuals reasons NOT to attend University- because believe me it is good fun (just ask Jeremy Clarkson: when asked what is the one thing he regrets most about his life he said it was not attending a University- sleeping in till 2pm every day etc etc).

YOU CAN'T BEAT OLD BLIGHTY OR THE F.A CUP!

Evening fans. It has been a while I know: been mega busy of late. But I am back with my pearls of wisdom.

I have just finished watching the FA Cup game on BBC between Stevie Coppell's Reading and Fergie's Man Utd. An extraordinary game which saw United, bound to win their league title this term, hold on for their dear life to gain a 3-2 success. The game according to John Motson "all looked so simple for the visitors after three goals in the first six minutes. In the end though it was nearly one of the very best F.A Cup comebacks of all time. Just goes to show how special the FA Cup is ". Yes, how special the FA Cup is. Take your mind back to last season's final between Liverpool and West Ham: it ended 3-3 and was one of the best Cup Finals in recent years. Just think of all of the FA Cup shocks there has been in recent years, that have given fans from some of the country's small league and non-league clubs some of the best days of their lives. Hereford United beating Newcastle in the 1970's, Sutton knocking out Coventry City in the 1980's, Bolton knocking out holders Arsenal in the 1994, Exeter City holding Man Utd at Old Trafford in the New Millenium and Wimbledon winning the FA Cup back in 1988. It is very special.

Next season though, great games like this evening's match may not occur. There have been many calls for replays in the world's greatest club competition to be scrapped. I believe that these calls are unwarranted and also take incentive out of matches for smaller clubs.

It is the big clubs in the main that are asking for the replays to be scrapped- the likes of Wenger and Mourinho. No real surprise really. Winger and Mr Arrogant have sides in the Champions League, are fighting (just about) for the Premiership and just the other day both were jostling for the Carling Cup.

However, these sides also have reserve squads treble the value and size than that of the lower league teams first teams put together. Take Chelsea: if they need a replay in the FA Cup then off the bench comes Kalou, Bridge, Wright-Phillips, Cudicini amongst others. Wright-Phillips value is presently approximately £8 million. That is the value of the entire Watford squad put together.

Therefore, the bigger sides have the resources to deal with the replays.

Anyhow, replays have always added to the flavour and the excitement of Cup competitions.

Take for instance, the Bolton v Arsenal replay. It ended 3-1 to the Gunners, after extra time. The game it is all agreed was much better than its predecessor at the Emirates Stadium, where both sides ground out a 1-1 draw. This match had drama, passion, vigour and a 90 minute equaliser from Bolton to take the game into Extra Time.

Imagine, how lowly Burton Albion would have felt last season if there was not a chance of a replay. After scrapping every blade of grass for a resolute 0-0 draw against Man Utd, they and their fans earn a deserved replay at Old Trafford- the theatre of dreams. In what other scenario would Burton be able to step out into 'The Theatre of Dreams' to play United. If there were no replays, United would probably have ground out a cruel 1-0 victory over Burton after extra time. If a team can shut up shop in the Premiership for 90 minutes, in order to gain the draw and therefore a point- then there simply has to a reward in Cup Competition (i.e: yes you've guessed it a replay....)

Anyhow, my tip for this season's FA Cup is for Man Utd, Tottenham (after a replay), Arsenal and Plymouth to reach the last four, with a Spurs v Man Utd final.

2). Last week I spent the weekend in London. I haven't got enough fingers to count how many times I have been to London, yet I still love being in the nation's capital. Last time I was in London was for the Remembrance Parade last year: a solemn occasion but one with which I was very proud to represent my Grandfather at (an ex-Paratrooper who was unable to attend).
This time around I had a glitzy anniversary dinner to attend. FREE BAR, great luxurious grub, excellent music (especially by Clive Golanski on the Electric Guitar) and a good venue in the Holiday Inn Suite in Camden.

To say that I was a little under the weather early Sunday morning, is like saying that Sir Richard Branson can spare the odd fiver. However, not deterred the British bulldog spirit took me over and before long I was on a Walking Tour around London.

With my friends Major Tom and J.P Clarke scurrying for the back benches and scampering home, I was left to wait until the early afternoon to meet my mate Mr Robert Lee Esq.

Therefore, I had a couple of hours to spare and decided that it sounded quite good fun to have a free guided tour of Whitehall and Westminster.

The walk was only free as it was International Tourist Day or whatever tosh it happened to be. However, having experienced very enjoyable walking tours in Berlin (with Kenny's army), Dublin (Paddy), Copenhagen (Per) and Cape Town (Jacques) then I thought it was a good idea.
It was an immensely enjoyable, child-like tour. I didn't care that we all looked like tourists and that black cabbies kept gesticulating towards us, I just had a bloody good time. Our guide was some wacky Ulster women called Tash, who kept us going for two whole hours (on Chinese New Year day too) with many funny stories, tales, ambiguous facts and general useless information.
Guided tours are just the best ever- because no person can surely enjoy getting lost or wandering aimlessly around a City for a couple of days. Just take out a tenner and enjoy the delights of being sheep following the shepherd towards the stable: and enjoy the fact that everyone else around will hate you for it.

I finished my weekend in Covent Garden drinking beer. Sundays seem to be pantomine day in London, with every street corner featuring jugglers, still statues, Mexican Banjo players and ice cream men galore: especially in Covent Garden. However, there was a buzz around the whole place last Sunday that I have yet to match: there is youthful exuberance in Copenhagen, oozes of culture in Vienna, chilling out in Cape Town, stress and tight shoulders in Zurich and manic debauchery in Dublin and Prague. Yet you cannot beat London if you want a place where you will always be guaranteed a pint, a meal and..... a juggler.

Can Shopping be as fun as Supermarket Sweep and as delightful as today's snow. No, didn't think so....

CAN SHOPPING BE AS FUN AS SUPERMARKET SWEEP AND AS DELIGHTFUL AS TODAYS SNOW. DIDNT THINK SO....

Afternoon on this cold and snow-fuelled day, writing at 5pm.

You have just got to love this country. A few flakes of snow fall for the first time in many a moon and the country goes to pot. I love it. There I have been acting the complete kid today marching down main roads throwing snow missiles at my unsuspecting friends and everyone else is stuck at work and moaning.If you look at any other country they seem to be prepared for such onslaughts. The Scandinavians just get in another few packets of biscuits and a fresh bottle of vodka and get prepared for the onslaught. Next day every car, bus, train, aeroplane and any other form of mechanical transport is moving swimmingly and everyone just laughs if off.In Germany, they actually believe their weather forecasters because the Germans are a very paranoid people. Therefore, when the German version of Sian Lloyd stands in front of the television and tells them it is going to snow like crazy on Thursday, it may be surprising news to you all, but the Germans are ready for it. In Switzerland, Austria, France and even Spain- their preparations are better than ours.In America, they are sending sozzled Homer Simpson's up and down every State snowplowing roads and De-freezing rail tracks and runways whenever a snowstorm is expected.Here in the U.K though, we can't even find it in ourselves to believe our weather forecasts to get prepared. Nowadays, the forecasts are pretty accurate compared to the Michael Fish forecasts of the 1980;s. So why are we so surprised to wake up today and see 6 ft of snow in our back gardens.As I write Radio 2 Traffic Girl Sally is on reporting of "travel chaos" and by goodness if I hear one more prat moaning about the elements on TV or radio I will swing for someone. We were warned: we should have been prepared.Anyhow, not letting the elements fail me I went shopping this morning. Now that really was torture. I mean, I cannot think of any task anymore boring, frustrating and damn right annoying than supermarket shopping. It takes an age to find exactly what is on your list, meaning you waste a whole 90 minutes of your life just wandering around like an ostrich. Hands and everything else is flapping as you just want to finish..You always spend more than you really want to. Always. I popped in for eggs, bread and milk today and then decided to do my "main" shop. Now this was Co-op which is one of the most expensive supermarkets around. But I didn't care did I as I went into the "zone"- one where you rush around like you are on Dale Winton's 'Supermarket Sweep', putting everything that is anything on your trolley. Now, fortunately, I do check what I have chucked in my trolley before I approach the checkout- so approx half of the trolley goes back on the shelves. Yet trust me... you always get home with 5-10 goods that you have no reason for having. Today, I bought a pair of gloves- but I already had gloves on at the time. You get the gist.Just when you think that the hell is over you get to the checkout, have to wait a day for the checkout girl to finish her chat with Sue who happens to be the checkout supervisor but never seems to supervise anybody. She just gossips. Shopping in supermarkets is just a real nightmare: worse than watching Pearl Harbour on DVD, or having to spend a day with the Grandmother.No, no, no. Give me the pub. Any day, anytime, anywhere.